February 5, 2012: Seven Months

This weekend Anna looked at me and said, "You know what today is? We're officially seven months away from our wedding day!"  The planning is starting to heat up.  Since I proposed in May, We have found a location, hired a retired Lutheran minister, found a photographer, taken engagement photos, and sent out save the dates.  She found a dress after two trips with her mother last fall.  In the summer, we took two trips to strangers' houses to pick up blue tinted mason jars and burlap runners that she will place lovingly on tables as decoration at the wedding.  The location of our wedding supplies the food, and works pretty much exclusively with one DJ so those things were taken care of rather easily.  We hired a distinguished and paternal looking retired Lutheran minister to do the ceremony.  She has set up a web site complete with photos of us, our wedding party, recommendations for entertainment in Traverse City, and links to hotels.  We have booked a large retreat where we will stay for the weekend along with some members of our family, and she has finally decided on her bridesmaids' dresses.  Recently we've registered for gifts at two different stores, booked room at a brewery/restaurant for a rehearsal dinner (no easy task in Traverse City during Labor Day weekend), and decided on the style for our invitations. She has logged hundreds of hours on the internet, finding wedding idea sites, looking at possible cake combinations, unique planning ideas, possible decoration and dress ideas, and menu options.  She found a honeymoon spot for us in Costa Rica, and we've picked our menus and four exciting activities we will participate in during that week.  Right now she is upstairs, and I assume she is talking on the phone with her mother about the things she registered for this morning.  Her mother and my mother have been active participants in this process, planning wedding showers, and posting ideas on pinterest.  I've had calls from several of my friends just this weekend trying to figure out if we can get together the Friday of that weekend for a boy's night out.  Soon we will be sending out invitations, and we still have to figure out the florist situation, shuttle service, find wedding picture locales, pick a menu, and find a cake.  We have to plan a social gathering for after the rehearsal dinner, and pick out something for me and my groomsmen to wear.  Along with all this is an effort to lose weight.  She has been waking up at 5:30 in the morning to go do an intense workout and we've both been trying to avoid fatty food.  I'm going to have to start testing skin care products to get rid of some splotchy patches on my face.  She has been growing her hair out so that when she styles it she can have more options.  We haven't even thought about what we're going to need to pack.

All this time she's putting in, all those long conversations we've had, the difficult choices we've made, all are leading to a day soaked in emotion. Along with all this planning, we have to consider the smallest details, like  bringing a handkerchief for tears, what kind of paper will we write our vows on, how the preacher's voice will sound as he pronounces us man and wife, how the light will shine as she walks down the aisle with her father.  It's not like planning a vacation where we pick a flight, find a hotel, and pack the proper clothing, we have to also consider the overall picture.  Anna has been working hard on the details so that on the day, we can enjoy each and every little moment without worry.  No matter how many details we work out, though, even if we plan it so minutely that nothing is left to chance, I still think I will be surprised at every turn.  I wish we could slow everything down so I could see every emotion on her face, and relish every smile surrounding us.  I wish that first kiss as man and wife could last forever.  I am worried that we will be barraged by friends and family, trying to talk to us all at once.  I fear that someone will not have a good time and that something will intrude on the magic of it all.  This only happens once in a lifetime and each minute that goes by will be singed with a bit of regret and bitterness, along with the happiness, because I know I don't want it to end.  It seems strange to me how much work goes into just a few hours of dining, dancing, and drinking.  We strive our whole lives to find the person that we will spend the rest of our lives with, we expend so much psychic energy on this one event, and it is over before we even know it.  A wedding should be a series of celebrations, I think.  We should have a week of family dinners, small parties, a grand celebration lasting from sunrise to sunrise, gift giving, games and contests like the old Romans and Greeks, and dancing until we collapse from utter exhaustion.  A wedding should not end until everyone has wandered home in delirium after a week of festivities.  Strangers should wander in and out, offering food, drink, or gifts.  Poems should be read by firelight and songs sung to toast the newly minted couple.  When it is over, everyone should feel like nothing was left out.  No one should walk away wishing they had gotten more time with the couple.  Wisdom should be handed down from everyone who has been through all stages of marriage.  People should wander into a corner of the room and sleep while the hardy ones carry on.  I say let's bring back the Festival of Bacchus, return to the old ways of paying homage to life changes.  We should endeavor to spend more time on these events than we do at work.  That way I could truly appreciate the magnitude of what Anna and I are undertaking.

Of course, Anna would have to do some more planning...

Until we meet again....